All our relationship therapists are experienced counsellors with specialist training in at least two models of couples relationship therapy. If you are struggling with a communication or connection issue, you can book with any of our couples counsellors – they can all help with that. If on the other hand, it is something more catastrophic, like an affair or violence, please book with one of our senior relationship therapists. If you are not sure who to book with and would like to talk to someone, please contact us here.
Marriage and Relationship Counsellors
Senior relationship counsellors
Affairs, PreMarriage/ New Relationship Preparation, Intensives, Aspergers, Communication
Individual session: $210 (1 hr)
Couples session: $305 (1.5 hr)
Relationship Rescue Session: $500 (2.5 hr)
Intensive sessions are available on request (1/2 or whole day options)
Available Monday-Friday and Weekends for Intensives
Book Steven on Zoom
Sexual Identity and Addiction, Relationships, Therapeutic Disclosures
Couples Counselling Session: $240 (1.5 hr)
Relationship Rescue Counselling Session: $400 (2.5 hr)
Individual Therapy Session: $180 (1 hr)
Available Tuesday – Thursday
Book Andrew on Zoom and Helensville, NW Auckland
Intern Relationship counsellors
Relate offers affordable counselling with Interns who are qualified and experienced counsellors, training to become specialist couples therapists. As the Interns progress through their training, their rate increases, from $40 to $100 for Individual appointments and from $60 to $150 for couples appointments. The internship usually takes 12 -18 months, so these increases are likely to happen across several months, but within the first year of therapy.
Sue – Intern Level 1 (Victoria Park Market)
Safe Communication, Cross-cultural Issues, Attachment, Anxiety, Depression
Sue is a fully qualified counsellor who is interning at Relate to extend her experience working with couples and become a specialist relationship counsellor.
Individual session: $40 (1 hr)
Available Tuesday – Thursday
All sessions with Sue are recorded and reviewed by one of the senior team members.
Book Sue on Zoom and Auckland CBD
Margaret – Intern Level 3 (Victoria Park Market)
Communication, New Relationships, Connection & Intimacy, Parenting, Stress, Holistic Well-being, Grief & Loss
Margaret is a fully qualified counsellor who is interning at Relate to extend her experience working with couples and become a specialist relationship therapist.
She is at Level 3 of the Internship, now having over 100 hours of couples’ therapy experience with us.
Couples session: $120 (1.5 hr)
Margaret’s new rates reflect her progress to Level 3 of the internship programme. Please email Margaret if you have any questions about this at email@example.com
Available for Zoom on Mondays and Thursdays and in person at Victoria Park Markets on Thursdays
All sessions with Margaret are recorded and reviewed by one of the senior team members.
Book Margaret on Zoom and Auckland CBD
Christine – Intern Level 1 (Tauranga)
Communication Issues, Depression, Grief and Loss, Anxiety, Narrative Counselling, Parenting
Chris is a fully qualified counsellor who is interning at Relate to extend her experience and become a specialist relationship counsellor.
Individual session: $40 (1 hr)
Couples session: $60 (1.5 hours)
Available Thursday & Friday
All sessions with Chris are recorded and reviewed by one of the senior team members.
Book Christine on Zoom
HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLOR FOR YOU
So you have decided to see a marriage therapist or couples counsellor and now you are wondering how do you know who to choose?
Here are 3 handy research-based tips on how to choose the best counsellor for you.
Tip 1 – Choose a Relationship Counsellor You Feel Comfortable With
Research indicates that about a third of effectiveness in therapy is directly related to how comfortable you feel with your couples therapist.
Now obviously you haven’t met any of our relationship therapists yet and you are just looking online. It is useful to remember that your comfort levels with others, including a counsellor, are determined by your younger brain, which is both visual and intuitive. For this reason a picture is often handy as it can give you a feel for a person.
If you are coming as a couple it is important to find a relationship therapist you are both comfortable with (or at least not aversive too). If one person in the relationship is pretty skeptical about therapy I normally recommend choosing a counsellor who they are most comfortable with.
Tip 2 – A Relationship Counsellor Needs to Know What They Are Doing
The same research into couples therapy indicated the another third of effectiveness is related to the therapist’s actual competence. With couples therapy this is really important as Christensen’s research indicates that untrained couples therapists have only 50% success rate – which is the same as couples trying to figure things out by themselves, and also about the same as the divorce rate.
Expert or specialist marriage counsellors have success rates above 80%. Why such a difference? It’s fairly simple, most training institutes include no training on how to work with couples or if they do, it’s theoretical training on outdated Systems Theory which was developed in the 1950’s.
Gottman’s research done in the 1980’s and 1990’s allows therapists to watch couples’ interactions and look for behaviours that we know predict divorce with over 90% accuracy.
So you are best looking for someone trained in Gottman Method Therapy, Emotionally Focussed Therapy, Imago Relationship Therapy, Psychophysiological Approach to Couple’s Therapy (PACT), Humanistic Existential Approach to Relationship Therapy (HEART), Presence Oriented Relationship Therapy (PORT) or the Developmental Approach to Couples Therapy. The first 3 are most well known the last 4 have strong integrative elements from the first 3.
Choosing someone without this training is simply a gamble, like getting a plumber to build your house – sure they are a tradie and they know houses, but… what they don’t know are the specific strategies shortcuts and pitfalls a builder does. The more fragile your relationship the more a specialist relationship counsellor is indicated. Also at a practical level, specialist relationship counsellors are normally passionate about the work which leads to the third tip.
Tip 3 – A Relationship Counsellor Needs to Care
The final third of effectiveness of couples therapy, according to Eugene Gendlin, is related to the belief that your relationship counsellor or psychotherapist truly cares about you. Effective couples therapy requires you to be vulnerable with your partner and therapist and we simply don’t do this if we don’t feel cared for. So once you have someone that you feel comfortable with, and you know has specialist training, your job in the first session is to get a sense of if they care.