Author Archives: Relate Counselling

“I forgive you” it lasts longer than you know

I have the privilege to share something with you this week from one of my fabulous international Imago colleagues Nedra Fetterman.  This very touching story captures the ongoing and powerful legacy of forgiveness and captures intimately the graciousness and care that centres at the heart of true connection. Enjoy P.S.  you may need to click […]

Getting your man* to talk Part 2 – the secret permission

In our last post I talked about many woman prefer an Empathy first response where as men respond far better to a Validation response, “You make sense to me.”  However the first block that many women face is getting their partner to participate in a discussion at all. There is a secret permission that many […]

Getting your man to talk – How most woman get it wrong – Part 1

Woman with nail in forehead communication problems

It’s not about the Nail is still one of my favourite short videos but I’d like to flip this topic on its head and talk about listening to men.  In my work as a marriage therapists who specialises in helping couples communicate it is pretty common for couples to enter the counselling room with an […]

The surprising relationship insights in Justin Timberlake’s mirrors song-part 2 working with complementarity

Of all the places I expect to find great relationships insights I confess Justin Timberlake was not at the top of that list. However his song Mirrors touches on a number of the most interesting and elusive themes in relationships. Last week we looked at the concept of the lost self – this week we […]

The Surprising Relationship Insights in Justin Timberlake’s Mirrors Song – Part 1 – The Lost Self

Of all the places I expect to find great relationships insights I confess Justin Timberlake was not at the top of that list. However his song Mirrors touches on one of the most interesting and elusive themes in relationships which is the concept of the lost self. In short the lost self is the part […]

Mind-blowing Sex – Unleashing your wild child

I’m really excited in this post to introduce you to a FABULOUS author and speaker Esther Perel.  Apart from being beautiful, brilliant and funny she also captured and articulated something amazingly well in this TED talk about how to use the child (limbic) brain to keep passion alive in long term relationships.  The talk is […]

Understanding the Child brain – Queen got it right, “I want it all, I want it NOW”

When it comes to understanding the Child brain Queen got it right.  Their hit song I want it all – I want it NOW sums up the governing ethos of the child brain [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pm4fQRl72k] The limbic (child) brain deals with the realm of emotion and physical sensory experience.  This part of the brain primarily develops […]

It’s not about the nail – or why men always want to fix things

This hilarious video highlights an important truth about empathy that can cause lots of problems in relationships or be a powerful source of connection. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg] Relationship Guru Pat Love author of,  How to improve your marriage without talking about it comments on the fact that the brain actually has two empathy networks. The first is […]