Affairee

Affairer

So you have just discovered an affair.  An affair is often a devastating blow that strikes directly at the heart of our security.

It may be a complete surprise or you might have had a niggling suspicion that something wasn't right.

Your feelings may range from feeling stunned and numb to feeling overwhelmed devastated, betrayed or enraged.  What do you do?  Who do you tell? What does this mean for your relationship? For your kids?  For the dreams you hold about your life together?

So you have just told your partner that you have had an affair or it has just been discovered. 

I imagine that you might be feeling a range of emotions including fear, panic, shame, sadness or you might be feeling relieved or strangely calm now that the weight of holding the secret has been taken off.

You are probably quite focused on your partner's reactions and managing their emotional response.  Perhaps this affair was a way for you to leave the relationship or perhaps you see for the first time that you could lose your marriage and your children.

Affairs are very common with statistics ranging from *30-70% of all relationships experiencing an affair - however every relationship is unique. For this reason it is typically very helpful to get expert advice and support from a specialist relationship therapist.


A specialist relationship counsellor can help you:

• Process your emotional responses
  
• Help you explore your options and choices
  
• Help guide you in to how to repair your relationship
  
• Help you recover if you decide to separate
  
• Help you take care of your children in the midst of this turmoil.
  

To book an appointment online with the specialist relationship team at Relate Chambers click the button below.  In the notes alert the counsellor that it is about an affair.  

For more information about recovering from an affair click here.
*Figures on affairs differ widely because it is difficult to get honest answers to questions about affairs and because researchers define affairs differently

If you want to save the relationship you might feel quite helpless, hopeless or overwhelmed in the face of your partner's distress.  If you do want to save the relationship you need to act quickly and get support from a specialist relationship counsellor*.

A specialist relationship therapist can help you:

• Deal with your internal conflict and indecision
  
• Show you how to end an affair
  
• Guide you if you decide you want to leave
  
• Help repair and restore trust in the relationship
  
• Help you make amends
  
• Help you take care of the children caught in the middle
  

To book an appointment online with the specialist relationship team at Relate Chambers click the button below.  In the notes alert the counsellor that it is about an affair.  

A specialist relationship counsellor is someone specifically trained in couples counselling - with further specialist training and experience in working with affairs. Because this is a challenging volatile time you need a counsellor with a range of experience and competence.